Two Times Two
by ciTohCysP
Summary: Ryou was very hungover which made it difficult to think, but the fact that he was completely naked in someone else's bed and had no recollection of how he got there woke him up enough to open his eyes. The first thing he saw were two menacing lavender eyes ringed with dark kohl and paired with disturbing grin. The next thing he saw was the ceiling from where he lay on the floor.


**Chapter One: Death**

Ryou unhappily awoke to a bright stream of sunlight pouring through a crack in the curtains. It shone blindingly across his face and made him wish he had bought blinds instead like any other sensible person. Wait. Curtains. He didn't have curtains. In fact he didn't have anything at all covering his windows at home since he always woke before the sun rose. Bakura though he was insane, and Ryou thought breakfast tasted better before noon.

In fact this bed as far to comfortable to be his own, with silk sheets gliding against his naked body as he shifted to turn away from the light that was slowly burning through his eyelids. A few possibilities floated through his head of where he might be, but he was incredibly tired and more than slightly hung over, which made it difficult to think of anything other than sleepsleepsleepsleep-

Except for the fact that he was completely naked, in someone else's house, in someone else's _bed_ , and had no recollection of how he got there. That thought woke him up enough to achieve the major task of opening his eyes.

The first thing that came into focus were two menacing lavender eyes ringed with dark kohl and paired with disturbing grin. The next thing he saw was the ceiling from where he lay on the floor tangled up in silken sheets, his head protested silently from its sudden acquaintance with the floorboards.

 _Well that's one way to wake up in the morning..._ Ryou thought sardonically, and in response Bakura chuckled across their mind link.

Sharp cackles sounded from above him and added to Bakura's distant laughter, creating a cacophony of laughter at his expense. Yami Marik's voice was disquieting despite being rough from sleep, or perhaps the irregular harsh edges made it even more intimidating.

Ryou twisted himself right side up as sharp pain tingled angrily along the back of his head, but he managed to peek up over the side of the plush mattress. A figure he recognized vaguely from various duels as Marik's darker half lounged deceptively lazily on the other side if the bed still staring him down with a predatory glint in his eyes and his usual spiky hair even more chaotic with bead head. The only part of the blanket that stayed on the bed after Ryou had oh so gracefully pulled it with him down to the floor sat tucked underneath Yami Marik's legs and oh hey look at that he was naked too- _no, no, don't look at that- ohmygod, he's got arms like a god, and dear Ra those abs!_ Ryou forced himself to focus his attention and keep his eyes at face level, but as soon as he did he wished he hadn't because whatever the yami was packing was far preferable to this. His unwavering gaze chilled Ryou's blood and held him in place while simultaneously making him want to just slide back down to the floor and curl up where he was out of sight.

 _Bakuraaaa..._ Ryou whined, trying to get the spirit to intervene and save him from having to deal with this mess.

 _Afraid, Yadonushi?_ Bakura growled mockingly. _Don't tell me the little psycho is scarier than I am, that would just break my poor heart._

"I like watching you sleep, Fluffy," Yami Marik said with a grin that was hardly sane. "Much prettier than the last one."

Ryou blinked, then again. It was disorienting trying to listen to Bakura's internal voice as well as whatever Yami Marik was saying, but did Yami Marik just compliment him? Ryou thought he heard that right.

"Um, thanks?" He was completely at a loss for how to respond which only seemed to encourage Yami Marik's ridged laughter.

Ryou didn't particularly want to get up and give the maniac a full view of his bare ass, but seeing as his clothes were scattered across the room there wasn't much chance of getting out of it. Besides, he figured the guy had already seen his body, and done much more to it, even if it hadn't been ' _his'_ body. While Marik laughed, Ryou busied himself with trying to find his clothes which had been scattered carelessly, mixed up alongside leather and lavender as well as various golden trinkets he supposed were Marik's armbands. Spotting something of his he recognized, Ryou picked out a white and blue striped t-shirt, slipping it on while trying to put the pieces together in his mind.

He couldn't remember anything from the night before, meaning that Bakura had probably taken over and went out drinking. Ryou hardly ever drank but Bakura wasn't opposed to blacking out and having a drunken one night stand, then leaving Ryou to deal with it in the morning. In fact, he rather enjoyed letting Ryou deal with whatever mess he had gotten himself into the night before. But with Yami Marik? Bakura must have been especially drunk that night to even have considered it. As far as Ryou knew his darker half couldn't stand Marik's yami, the two were always getting into heated arguments that more often than not turned violent rather quickly.

The t-shirt hung off his lanky frame and he sighed, Bakura was only an inch or two taller than him but he also has the advantage of being slightly more muscular so Bakura's shirts were always baggy and loose on him. At least that confirmed that Bakura had been the one to go out and do something stupid, and not his own mistake. Because even if Bakura took more pleasure than was really appreciated in his awkward not-really-morning-after experiences, Ryou trusted his yami not to put him into a truly dangerous situation. Or at least step in when things got out of hand.

He turned around, scanning the floor for a pair of pants that would fit well enough, but instead came face to face with the yami. To his credit, Ryou didn't jump like he had the first time that morning, but his breath did catch uncomfortably in his throat. Yami Marik's eyes seemed to glow in the low morning light and Ryou wondered briefly if this was how a rabbit felt when it was spotted by a hawk.

Yami Marik snaked his hands around Ryou's slender waist and pulled them flush together, which was made far more uncomfortable by the fact that Ryou still had no pants on. Marik licked his lips and Ryou shivered, deciding immediately that this was a situation he wanted nothing more to do with. Not that he was unhappy, because dear Ra he was he not unhappy, but his brain was overloading and searching desperately for an out.

 _Bakura? Bakura_? He called into the depths of his soul room, but received no reply besides howling laughter echoing against the walls. Mentally he grumbled unhappily, knowing his own darker half's amusement was at his own expense.

Ryou snapped back to reality as Yami Marik leaned forward with a dark look of glee and nuzzled into his neck, breath hot against Ryou's pale skin. _Shit. Shit, shit, shit, shit, sh-_

His raw, coarse voice whispered too close to his ear, racking his body with more shivers. "So are you the one the little princess fucked last night, or was it... _The other one_?"

All Ryou could do was squeak pitifully in response. "Oh..."

So it was Marik Bakura had slept with, not his darker half. That made a bit more sense... But even so, Bakura usually made a point of sleeping with people he didn't know, and didn't care to know. With the exception of when he had that one night stand with Mai Valentine. Bakura still laughed and reminded him _'how cute he was when his face turned red as a tomato all the way down his neck and made his pure white hair stand out magnificently'_ , but that was near the beginning of this annoying game of sit-back-and-let-Ryou-deal-with-the-morning-after. Since then he had gotten much better at avoiding awkward situations like the one he was in currently. Which reminded him, Yami Marik had leaned back was staring him down and making Ryou feel very very small trapped against him.

Yami Marik's unsettling grin was persistent and Ryou began to fidget when he couldn't bring himself to meet the others intimidating gaze, nervously curling and uncurling his fingers against his palm. What had the question been? Oh fuck. He was so gonna die. Not even Bakura would save him now.

Then an unrecognizable look passed fleetingly across Yami Marik's face and he shifted back an inch. Ryou flinched with only the worst outcomes running wild in his mind, then in a blink it was gone Yami Marik's grin widened maliciously.

"Well then I'm assuming you have no clue how you got here either," he said with something like contempt and backed to collect his own clothes off the floor leaving Ryou's body cold and tingling where they had been touching a second before. "Too bad, the priss does have poor taste in men though. You're much more _come_ ly than your other half."

Ryou felt his face heat up at the perceived innuendo. The dark spirit threw him a suggestive look that only made himself erupt in more cackles. As quickly as he could manage Ryou slid into a pair of skinny jeans that still ended up bunched around his ankles and handing around his waist, all while keeping a careful eye on Yami Marik just in case he decided to sneak up on him again.

Ryou slipped out of the bedroom while Yami Marik meticulously reattached each of the scattered armbands and other various golden pieces of jewelry Ryou had no name for. The living room was small and cluttered with open books and loose papers thrown about on the table and the floor, and just beyond that was the kitchen with a long freestanding island acting as a barrier between the kitchen and the rest of the apartment. What he figured to be the bathroom was off to the left and the main door stood opposite it on the far wall. Ryou breathed a sigh or relief and left the cluttered apartment as swiftly as he could, hoping to put the awkward encounter further out of his mind with each step he took away from the apartment he would likely never see again.

 _Now if only I could find a way to get back home..._

The next time Ryou awoke with no memories of the previous night was only a few days later, after Bakura had finally broken down from Ryou's sad doe eyes and half heartedly apologized for "indirectly trapping him in a room with the murderous bastard". Now Ryou was surprised to find the same silky sheets and fluffy pillows he recognized from the last time he had woken up in someone else's bed after a one night stand, although it wasn't much of a 'one night stand' if Bakura came back a few days later.

Ryou sat up slowly, rubbing the sleep from his eyes and was glad to at least have a pair of boxers on, even if they were a bit too big. He glanced down and was flooded with relief when he saw Yami Marik still sleeping and tangled up in the sheets, his wild hair strewn across the pillows and hopelessly matted in most places. The others sleeping face seemed different in a way Ryou couldn't quite place, for a moment he wondered if this was the lighter Marik rather than his yami, but that couldn't be it. Marik's shoulders were narrower than his yami's and he didn't quite have the same face, Yami Marik's being more sharp and angular with pronounced cheekbones.

Ryou pushed the thought aside and instead worked to go about collecting his clothes quietly before the other woke up. He left the room and shut the door silently as possible behind him before hopping into his pants and throwing on a shirt to cover himself.

Ryou took another look around the somewhat familiar room and found some of the paper had been organized into haphazard stacks while the others still lay scattered about as if someone had gotten halfway through tidying up and just said screw it. Ryou picked up a sheet and recognized the writing on it as ancient Egyptian hieroglyphs meshed alongside footnotes and scribbles in Arabic and even a few in English, but even the writing in English was illegible due to the sloppy handwriting.

Ryou glanced out the window and was greeted by the sun just beginning to peek over the skyline. It's bright rays seeped through the fancy, but ultimately useless, curtains and bathed the living room in a soft natural glow.

 _Are you quite done snooping? I for one would like to go home eventually._ Bakura snapped impatiently.

 _But you're the one who got us here in the first place!_ Ryou retorted, feeling fed up with Bakura's disaffected attitude.

He set the paper back in the spot he found it, not that it mattered since they were all randomly thrown about anyways, but he liked to think of himself as a very careful person.

 _Yes, good, now let's go home. I'm hungry so I hope we still have enough eggs left for french toast._ Bakura stated and Ryou sighed.

Then Ryou smiled. _Alright, let's make some breakfast then._

 _...The door is that way._ Bakura said slowly as Ryou headed towards the kitchen.

 _Oh I know._ Ryou said in a sweet tone. _It's just that I know we don't have enough eggs at home…_

Bakura did not like that tone.

 _And I would feel bad leaving our hosts without at least saying goodmorning…_

 _Yadonushi, what are you-_

 _So let's make some frenchtoast shall we? For all of us._

Bakura mentally recoiled and the force of it was so strong it made Ryou flinch. _Not a bloody chance! We are leaving, now Yadonushi!_

Ryou's grin widened at Bakura's reaction, sometimes it was fun to mess with Bakura rather than it being the other way around. _How could I be so rude? After all, I've woken up here twice now and Yami Marik has had the good grace not to kill me in my sleep, so think of it as a thank you present._

 _Fuck that! Let's just go home and make our own breakfast we don't have to share with those two assholes! Hell, I'll even be the one to cook it!_ Bakura pleaded, though the plea was offset against the way he growled it out like a command.

 _Calm down, Bakura. Besides, we both know you can't cook a decent meal to save your life._

Bakura didn't say anything else after that, but from across their mind link Ryou heard lots of harch curses thrown in between growls and angry muttering. From there Ryou set about fixing up a quick breakfast that would hopefully be done before Yami Marik woke up. He opened up the fridge and pulled out a carton of eggs, maple syrup, and milk, thankfully the milk hadn't spoiled though the expiration date said it was close. Just before closing the fridge he spotted a can of whipped cream and added that to his growing pile of cooking supplies on the counter. Next he raided the cupboards, searching for bread but instead finding cinnamon sugar and vanilla extract. He looked in all the cabinets a second time, but still came up short of the main ingredient.

 _Bakuraaaaaa!_ He called silently.

 _What!_ Came the annoyed reply.

 _I can't find any bread!_

Ryou got the impression that if Bakura had a body his arms would be crossed, but there were very few instances where Bakura didn't cross his arms in agitation. _So what? It's not my bread, I don't know where it is!_

 _This is your breakfast too, you know. So if I can't find any bread, then you don't get any french toast._ Ryou huffed.

Bakura was silent for a long moment before giving in and saying, _it's over next to the fruit bowl._

Ryou gave a quick thank you and smiled as he turned to the island. There besides a fruit bowl sat the last two things he needed, butter and bread. He took the butter and poked the bread to see it it was stale, and when he did he noticed the fruitbowl. The bowl was normal, tasteful even, but it wasn't filled with apples, or oranges, or anything like that.

It was filled with… _Lemons?_

 _Oh there they are!_ Bakura suddenly said, his mood brightening considerably. _The lemons... We couldn't seem to find them last night. Too bad we missed out on that._ **((BA-DUM TISS *author turns to the audience and winks*))**

 _...What would you even need the lemons for?_

 _Well you see, Tenshi, when a man and another man love each other very very much-_

 _Never mind! Never mind! I don't want to know!_

Ryou fought off a brilliant red blush as Bakura broke out into loud laughter. He shook himself and began to work on breakfast, or at least he did, after yet another quest for a small mixing bowl to crack eggs in. Then after the sun had risen well above the horizon and about halfway through the loaf of partially stale bread, he was interrupted from his methodical cooking process by two hands encircling his waist from behind. Something wet licked a stripe up the back of his neck and Ryou squeaked indignantly, elbowing the other in the stomach.

Undeterred, the man buried his face in Ryou's pure white hair and chuckled. "So soft!"

Then all at once the weight and the warmth was gone from behind him and Ryou whipped around to see Bakura's projection flickering angrily and gripping Yami Marik tightly by the back of his shirt.

" _You little shit, keep your hands off my Yadonushi!_ " Bakura growled threateningly.

In retaliation Yami Marik taunted him with eyes gleaming in twisted mischief. "So you're the only one who can touch him then? Your own precious little Hikari? Didn't they teach you about sharing in preschool, Haraami?"

" _What did you just call me, you prick?_ " Bakura looked like he was ready to snap, even if he couldn't understand the insult being thrown at him.

"Tozz fiik." Yami Marik said with a smirk

"Hey!" Ryou yelled loudly, hoping to interrupt their fight before it got out of hand.

Bakura immediately tore his eyes away from Yami Marik and turned his fury on Ryou. The other yami followed suit, but rather than Bakura's fiery anger his eyes held more morbid curiosity, like he was watching a moth flit around a bug zapper and just waiting for it to get a bit too close. In that moment Ryou had no doubt who the bug was.

"Come on, Bakura let go of Yami Marik and quit fighting already or breakfast is going to get cold," he said with as much confidence as he could muster, which wasn't much, but it did the trick, or maybe the two yamis just feld bad watching him flail with transparent bravado.

Either way within the next five minutes Bakura had retreated deep into his soul room and Ryou was left sitting next to Yami Marik eating french toast on a newly clutter free couch. He felt kind of bad watching Yami Marik throw the papers around carelessly, but he figured if they were really all that important they would be kept in a safer place, out of reach of the "destructive manchild" as Bakura called him.

 _Wow, years ago if I had told Yugi I would be eating french toast three feet from Marik's dark half he would have called me crazy,_ Ryou thought fleetingly.

Bakura huffed angrily. _If you had told me_ yesterday _that you were gonna stay over and eat damned breakfast I would have called you crazy, and I still think you're crazy._ Ryou chose to ignore his yami's comment.

Yami Marik was being surprisingly tame after how brash he had acted before, and he kept throwing curious looks out of the corner of his eye like he was watching and waiting to see what Ryou would do, or what he was plotting. Which Ryou figured was reasonable, since you don't just go from murderous rivals to buddy-buddy-sleepover-fun-times all that quickly, but the fact that it was reasonable thinking is what put Ryou on edge. Yami Marik was insane, 'reasonable thinking' was probably a bad sign.

"So what should I call you?" Ryou asked, trying to carefully break the tension sitting heavily in the air. "I mean, 'Yami Marik' is a bit of a mouthful and isn't even really a name so much as a title."

Yami Marik stared him down for a long moment that seemed to stretch out into hours, and the lines of kohl around his eyes didn't serve to make him any less intimidating. Somehow Ryou had managed to make the situation even more tense than it had been before. He wished he could just sink back into the couch and disappear there as he started fidgeting, his fingers curling like a nervous habit. Yami Marik stared him down with that same expression of a curious child, waiting and watching, intently studying something new in the world they had never come across before. Just then Ryou felt it click, the same thing he had noticed that morning, Yami Marik wasn't smiling, but he wasn't angry either. It was an odd experience to see something that would seem normal on anyone else look so foreign on the yami. The expression of neutrality looked out of place when Ryou was used to seeing him do nothing besides laughing madly or with a look best suited to hunting down prey.

Then all at once it was gone as a grin split across Yami Marik's face and he said. "You can call me whatever you like, Fluffy, but Marik tends to call me Maalik."

"Malik?" Ryou tried, twisting his tongue around trying to replicate the heavy Arab accent on the name.

Apparently he had pronounced it wrong because Malik was laughing at him, he was practically in stitches over however horrible his attempted pronunciation had been. Ryou frowned, he hadn't mispronounced it _that_ badly, had he? "I like you, ya amar! Much better than your other half."

Ryou only had a moment to wonder what 'ya amar' meant before every thought was gone from his brain in a rush, because when Malik kissed Ryou it was sudden and unexpected and it tasted like maple syrup. And Ryou found he didn't mind all that much, even if Bakura was screaming at them in a rage. The angry voice was easy to block out against Malik's tongue in his mouth, and he might have even found himself kissing back.

 **Hey guys! Sorry for not writing anything in forever, so take this as a sort of 'Guess What, I'm Still Alive!' present.**

 **Yadonushi - Landlord, host**

 **Tenshi - Angel**

 **Haraami - Thief**

 **Tozz fiik - Screw you**

 **Ya amar - Beautiful like the moon**

 **Please leave a comment to let me know if you enjoyed this story, and subscribe if you want to stick around cause there is going to be a lot more to it later on, one for each pairing in this OT4. (six chapters? WOAH! O_O) So yeah! Enjoy!**


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